by Avis Oxbury
"My dream of sailing started when I was 30 years old and now I am 62. I became inspired back then when I met some people that had a sail boat in Hawaii. I sailed with them on and off for a few years every chance I could get by flying over from the West Coast of BC to Hawaii on vacation. That piece of my life ended and I moved on and one thing lead to another. Many years went by and the desire for sailing just became a dream.
The dream came alive again when a number of years ago my husband and I moved from the mainland to Nanaimo, BC. When we first came to Nanaimo we liked to do a lot of walking and exploring around the area. One of our favorite things to do was walk along the docks at the downtown marina. One day we walked by a boat and I saw a sign that said “HERIZEN™ Sailing for Women”. I took a brochure and in the back of my mind I thought that one day that would be something I would like to do. I kept the brochure and tucked it away. Meanwhile, life just happened. Another 10 years went by, and the thought of sailing and taking lessons was always niggling at the back of my mind. Then about 2 years ago I saw a story or an ad in the paper about HERIZEN™ Sailing for Women. I enquired about dates and prices of courses and then left it again. About 6 months later another ad came out and this time it was for a one day sailing workshop at the Kin Hut in Nanaimo. It was in the middle of April last year and it was a very blustery stormy Saturday. It did not matter what the weather was doing because we had the fire place going and the program was so interesting. Our little building was located right on the beach and we could see the rain and the wind moving on the water. I met some fabulous women that day and really enjoyed myself. The sailing workshop helped me to realize that my dream was far from dead. Not only that, there were many other women there that had the same dream. I remember, I wrote my Coast Guard Operators Exam and passed. There was another lady there that day that had already signed up for a 7 say sailing retreat for the summer. Her name was Sue and now one of my dear friends.
I am feeling emotional as I speak about this because after wanting something for so long suddenly the opportunity was right in front of me. I could really make the dream happen. All I had to do was make the decision and committ to it.
I finally decided to register for a 7 day sailing retreat and paid my deposit. Once I made the commitment everything started to fall into place. I was so excited and it turned out that I was taking the course with Sue who also lives in Nanaimo.
The emotion I get when I think back about that experience is one of happy and fulfilling. When you have passion about something and then there is the opportunity to make it happen it can be scary and exciting at the same time. I had a dream that was tucked away and every once in a while I would say “Oh I would really like to take sailing lessons and then the little voice would come and say: “oh what a stupid idea, why would you want to do that…or think about the money” Always that little voice but always the passion ..the little voice had a lot to do with how deserving I was and am I worth it, spending that amount of money when maybe there are other things that I could spend it on. There are always going to be other things in your life to spend the money on. Now that I have made the commitment, spent the money and taken the course I see all the rewards. It was worth every penny.
The rewards for me were many. I fulfilled a life time passion that I had and actually made my dream come true. I had a vision that I was not even that clear on. When I experienced the one day sailing workshop that day last year, I realized that other women have the same passion and desire to sail or be on the water. It was an inch by inch process. I had to work through almost 30 years of all the emotional part of it…the deserving, the money and the time.
How I worked through the financial part of the commitment was interesting. At my work place they have a program that employees can put $50 or $100 or whatever you decide from each paycheck and put it into a Canadian Savings Account. A few years ago I had the idea that I should do this but never acted on it. Then the one day work shop happened and at the same time I got a letter from the payroll department telling me that if I was going to commit any of my pay to the savings account…now was the time to do it. I immediately wrote back and told them to go ahead and put $100 per month into the account. I thought that if I did this then I would have the money for the course. I told my husband about the course and he would say “…so do you have the money” and I would say " …well NO…". I decided that that I am going to have the money. Then if the little voice came into my head and asked me if I had the money I would just say YES!. I decided that I was going to take the sailing course and then I committed to putting money away. I became very focused and clear on what I wanted. Sure it took me little bit longer but it all worked out perfectly. When it came time to pay for the course I did not have to put in on a credit card because I had all the money. I was totally focused and committed. I just decided it was time to LET OUT THE STOPS. I had just turned 60 something and had decided that time was marching on. I did not want to be 70 when I took my first sailing lessons.
Since taking the 7 day sailing retreat with HERIZEN™ it has been one adventure after another. All I had to do was commit. Before I made the commitment, my friends around me would have negative responses when I told them I wanted to take sailing lessons. Once I committed to myself, everything around me changed. Now that I have actually completed the program everything has changed. My friends, family and people that I meet are congratulating me, asking me when am I taking them sailing. I had a big shift.
The experience for me during the course was fabulous. For one thing, the setting was incredible. Going away for 7 days to a B&B on Protection Island and a 3 day cruise was very therapeutic. Sue was on the course and the connection I made with her and I still have is amazing. Having Captain Valma as an instructor was fun. She was understanding and it did not matter how we were feeling, Valma responded to us in such a loving way. We did not have to worry about doing anything wrong or being yelled at. The experience was all so perfect. I have a lot of family commitments and responsibilities and it was nice to go away from it all for one week.
After I took the course it was like I became this strong person. I have a very strong back bone but lots of time in the past I would retreat. After the course I noticed many changes. At work for example; I would have a situation arise and I would ask myself "how am I going to do this?" I would then think about my sailing experience and decided if could sail the boat I can do anything. I was so empowered. My confidence level just soared…in my personal life, at work, when I am out and about, any where…with my friends. Everyone in my life noticed the change.
One of the comments my daughter made was....…she phoned me up and she said “the next time you go out sailing and on your way home I would like it if you can stop at my house for a few minutes”. She did not say why she just left a message on the phone. After sailing one day I went to her house and as I was going through door told her I had just come back from sailing and asked her if she needed something. "Yes," my daughter said, "I just need to look at you…when you have been sailing you look like a different person and I love to see how you look…you glow and its not even that …it’s the whole package. It’s like there has been this person lurking inside you waiting to come out and now here you are and I just love to look at you. Your eyes are greener, your skin looks better your hair flips up…just the whole thing." That was her comment, she went on to say “please come and see me after you have been sailing so I can look at my true mother.” My son loves to come to the sailboat with his kids on the sailboat, I have friends that can not believe that I did it and they tell me that if you can do this after 30 years we can also make our dreams come true as well.
I do not have to say anything, I do not have to do anything, I am just being.
My relationship with my husband is much better...he was the one that would hold that “oh well what about this and what about that.” attitude. I went forward and made the commitment to take the course…now he is always saying “when are we going to the boat.” He can not even swim..but that does not matter he just wears his life vest …he says “are you taking us sailing.” He has absolute full confidence in whatever I learned in the HERIZEN™ course. He is completely confident.
“Happiness is…” is our boat. She is a home made boat built in 1975 and is fiberglass over wood with a concrete keel. She is 27.5 feet and very wide. She has sailed to Hawaii there and back twice in her time and we just love her.
I am the skipper and after the course I started taking more trips on the boat with aunts and uncles. Docking and undocking was huge for me. When my Uncle came I thought ok great…he can take the boat away from the dock. When my Uncle arrived I asked him if he wanted to take the boat away from the dock. He said, “No, the boat is yours, you take it out". I am glad that he encouraged me to do it. Now it is easier all the time.
Now, I have an amazing crew of 4 or 5 women. These ladies are part of the local sailing co-op. www.vanislesailing.ca These women are all trained and it feels good to be supported. I can be the skipper and no that they are part of the team supporting and encouraging me. My husband likes to come with us. He takes care of the operational parts of the boat and the cooking. The ladies and I sail the boat. Often when we go out we take three crab traps and set them while we go sailing for 3 or 4 hours. My husband cooks up the crab. Everyone brings something towards the meal. My husband likes to ask the ladies all kinds of sailing questions and they respond and share their knowledge.
The difference between what it was like with this boat before I took the course and after is like night and day. Before, I really did not want to take the boat out. I just wanted to sit at the dock. I would take “Happiness is..” out on a rare occasion. During the HERIZEN™ 7 day sailing retreat, I learned how to build my confidence level and learned many new skills. I now know how to handle my boat and also have an awareness of how the boat operates. If I want to refer to something in my sailing manual I know what they are talking about. Now I am sailing the boat and living my dream.
My next step is to hone my skills at the basic level. I achieved my CYA Basic Cruising Standard and now I want to practice them really well. My intention is to work towards taking the CYA Intermediate Standard. I know that when I focus on this I can do it.
Now, I want to inspire others to do the same. I was inspired and supported by Captain Valma, Sue inspired me, the other ladies I sail with inspire me and I inspire myself. My energetic level has increased and taking this course has not only full filled my dream but made my life better and happier.
I took baby steps…one at a time. Then one day I committed and decided to make it happen. I never looked back. I would love for anyone who has even thought of taking the HERIZEN™ Sailing for Women course to:
PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS AND JUST DO IT!
“Happiness is…” Living the Dream
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